I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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