wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
