Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
