I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
