just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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