i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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