Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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