I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
there is puke in my bra ... again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
