i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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