She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
