I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
