he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
