My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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