Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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