Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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