Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
