You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
