About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
