I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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