So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
