we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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