I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So much Jack, so little girl.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
