I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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