Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
