I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
