D3 body, D1 cock
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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