Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
