Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My first STD was from a foam party
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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