i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
