i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
