how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
