naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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