you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize