Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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