Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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