I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
