Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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