Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
