Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
