there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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