he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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