Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I could make wine with my vomit
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Are my feet made of real feet?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
