He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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