Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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