just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
