have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
