K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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