Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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