so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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