you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
