You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
