I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
