and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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