i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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