You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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