Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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