I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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