just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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