I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
