im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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