Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize