you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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