You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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