Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
