Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The Olympian is in my bed
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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