I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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